We here at GREEN HOUSE FILM REVIEWS have been promoting the TWILIGHT film since it was announced a year ago and that sultry release date is almost upon us, November 21st. One week after QUANTUM OF SOLACE blows our face off, TWILIGHT will come and tenderly nuzzle the bridge of its nose against our chin and nonchalantly stick its teeth into our neck/wallet. Tonight, we bring you the latest and perhaps last trailer for TWILIGHT before it hits theaters and collectively rips the panties off of young (and presumably of legal age) females nationwide (myself included?). Well, since it was just released online, the quality is pretty bad, but tolerable. I'd say this is the best trailer so far, giving us scenes we actually want to see instead of a mess of ones that make the film feel made-for-TV. Enjoy.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
New trailer for our (beloved?) TWILIGHT; might not be as great as a live-action GARGOYLES film, but it'll do
Trailer for THE UNBORN; amazingly enough, it's not a remake
David Goyer, a name closely associated with BATMAN BEGINS and THE DARK KNIGHT. Goyer has also directed such smash hits like THE INVISIBLE most recently and BLADE: TRINITY before that. So, when I read a while back that he was spearheading a new horror/mystery, I was excited but then immediately grounded also reading that neither Jonathan nor Christopher Nolan had anything to do with this film, and in their stead, Michael Bay. Don't worry, I'm not here to grind Mr. Bay, no, I've moved on to Mr. Ratner. But now, the trailer is out and it does look, while still generic (even the title. Seriously, what was wrong with just UNBORN?), creepily intense. I'm sure it'll be successful at the box office and I have been looking forward to the next mediocre American horror film (no one tops the Asians). Enjoy below the trailer for THE UNBORN.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
NAILING YOUR WIFE
I was one of the sparse few who did enjoy SLITHER because it was good enough to integrate the comedy into the action unlike standard parodies (see: EPIC MOVIE, DATE MOVIE, SUPERHERO MOVIE, and all those other MOVIES).
Anyhoo, the director James Gunn is creating a series of internet porn shorts. Now, before you stop reading and immediately play the video (unless you've already stopped reading and have already played the video), there's a twist. His series will be called PG PORN and won't have any sex. Instead, we'll get to focus on what we actually watch porn for, the horrible acting and the laughable effort the actors put into their horrible acting. So, we start off the PG PORN series with a bang with its first short, NAILING YOUR WIFE. Enjoy.
Nailing Your Wife
Monday, October 6, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
THE UNINVITED trailer; crusty milk=sour, black milk=symbiote
Way way back, earlier this year, I spoke of some official casting choices for the part of Bella in the TWILIGHT film. One of the names that I did consider better suited for the part over Kristen Stewart was Emily Browning usually identified from the LEMONY SNICKET film. I also mentioned she was working on a film, THE UNINVITED, which is a remake of the Korean horror film A TALE OF TWO SISTERS. In my opinion, this film looks pretty bad. I strongly advise all of you watch the original because though the film is slightly cliched, the Asian horror take on certain stories really make it was it is. Anyhoo, the trailer for THE UNINVITED is finally out after just, so, long, and it's now waiting for you to view below. Any thought?
Thursday, October 2, 2008
False Exclusivity: First five minutes of BLINDNESS
Well, the film's been through a few different cuts but after this past Sundance, word at Telluride and TIFF was that the final cut indeed does work the best and that...is great to hear. I have definitely been looking forward to BLINDNESS as you might recall from earlier this year I spoke of my anticipation for both THE HAPPENING and BLINDNESS. Remember? Remember that?!
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Trailer Expo: THE SPIRIT and W and JUST BURIED and SPLINTER
I wasn't too taken with the first teaser that Frank Miller released for THE SPIRIT nor with the first trailer. True, a lot of it feels like a story from the Sin City pages but Will Eisner had a very different thing going in his head than Miller when he wrote this. This trailer blew me, away, and though it didn't get me the same giddy the QUANTUM OF SOLACE trailer did, any giddy is good giddy.
So, knowing Oliver Stone, for some reason I still thought that Bush biopic was going to be despite all else, mostly dramatic. But this new trailer really makes it clear, right? I wasn't anticipating this film as much as I was several other Fall biggies but it's now making a bigger blip on my mental map. October 17th is when you can catch it at your local filmoplex.
Yeah yeah, we all thought R.Downey Jr. was great in TROPIC THUNDER but the best part of the film wasn't retard jokes nor the blowjob proposals, it was Jay Baruchel. He played it pitch perfect and was the only real part of the film. Now, here comes a film with Jay that is not really a big studio film and yet I would pay just the same to watch it as THE SPIRIT. JUST BURIED stars Baruchel as a young man who inherits a funeral home in a small town and must think fast to keep the business running or it will be shut down due to little need for a funeral home in the town. Enter the beautiful Rose Byrne, the town's mortician, who with a strange opportunity comes to light.
And finally, a horror film, yay. I was ready to shut it off after 20 seconds but I'm glad I didn't because it offers something a tad bit different than most other horror films that start the same way, creatures. I really don't want to say much else because it could just as well suck gorilla testicles but the trailer does look interesting. In theaters October 31st. Enjoy.
2nd and perhaps final trailer for THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
Strange buzz has been revolving around this film ever since it premiered earlier this year at festivals and it's stuck with it while making rounds at other festivals. The main problem Paramount has with Fincher's final cut is that, like ZODIAC, it's just too long. Find me someone who cares and I'll find you someone who doesn't love to hate Daniel Plainview. Warner Bros. has a similar problem with Zack Snyder's WATCHMEN with its final running time being about four hours. Just suck it up people. I for one am waiting for the day our general attention spans increase and we have films that are four and five hours. Art is art and no muzzle will fit, should fit. BUTTON is still on course for December the 25th.
Friday, September 26, 2008
New VALKYRIE trailer and poster beg the question: Do you really need more motivation to go see this film? The answer should be, no
With the Fall season closing in on us and the Oscar contenders lining up for a thorough physical, VALKYRIE is here today to make sure it also gets its testicles groped. Singer released a trailer almost nine months ago and then released the final trailer about two months back. But now we have the final final trailer and it's meant to be even more griping that the last. It's good but it really doesn't work for me, though I didn't really need much more to get me in the theater. Enjoy.
