Update: MTV exclusive TWILIGHT clip

As we speak, shenanigans and crazy happenings are happening on the MTV Movie Awards. But we all know what the important part of tonight was: the TWILIGHT clip. Below, I teased about it appearing tonight at the grand show, and it's here. So without further interruption, here's the clip in all it's glory and low light.

Personally, the scene almost isn't working for me, but then I remember that it's TWILIGHT, and that makes it all better. I know this scene isn't in the book and that the book just skips from James beating Bella like a drum for a while and then skips straight to him being dead so I hope they make it an exciting fight.

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TWILIGHT at MTV Movie Awards

See, when I'm the only one updating this site, it makes it hard to cover all the things I want everyone to know. But still, I soldier onwards.
So, as most of you know, The MTV Movie Awards is later today and along with all the stars and legends that frequent the MTV stages, so do the losers of the greater Hollywood area like P. Hilton, L. Lohan, and B. Bird. Okay, maybe not Big Bird, but you get me. Among the shows great skits and appearances, tonight will feature something I'm most excited about. No, not Jack Black in a Panda suit, an exclusive clip from TWILIGHT.
Recently MTV ran a contest for bloggers and the winner would get flown to MTV to be a guest blogger and write about their entire MTV Movie Awards experience. She, Laura Culpepper, is...so lucky. I would love to win something like that. That's not my point though, my point is that she was able to watch that exclusive clip before the rest of the world and she even mocked us in a video blog. Here, watch for yourself.

I also have a few more TWILIGHT videos after the jump if you're interested. Of course you're interested, what a stupid thing to say.

Here's a video with Laura and Robert Pattinson being fun but also sort of acting like a douche.

And here is just something short to remind us all about TWILIGHT.

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You ready for a porno...with ZACK & MIRI...Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks?

I have something for you. Yes it is 3:40 in the morning and I'm not sure why I'm awake either but regardless, we have for you this morning the trailer, well teaser for Kevin Smith's new re-invisioning of the late 18th century classical play, ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO. Wait a minute, I'm hearing now that it's not a remake of an 18th century play...it's 17th.
Anyhoo, yes, the teaser. Since I am tired and just spent 30 minutes also writing a review for TEETH which will be up in a little while, I'll post a link to SlashFilm.com which broke the teaser one minute after it was posted online. Let's give it up for SlashFilm. Ok...here you go...meany!

I only use Nizar for his internet scavenging abilities which today bring me the Teaser for ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO. Enjoy!

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Review: TEETH

This post contains *SPOILERS*

Alright well, where do we, begin? Ah, the plot synopsis, not too difficult. A young Dawn (Jess Weixler) has always suspected something strange about herself. Even as a small child, situations occurred-she bit her step brother. Once grown and more mature, she decided abstinence was the right decision for her and chose her friends accordingly. She soon begins having feelings for a young man she meets but when the relationships goes awry, something inside of her takes over. Teeth.
This is the story of a girl who discovers that she possesses a unique condition in which her vagina has teeth. No molars or wisdom teeth-full on razor sharp chompers. She must learn what she is and how she must deal it. We soon notice that this condition not only affects her but those around her as well.
Hit the jump below to read the rest of my review of...TEETH !!

Ok so, is it a comedy? Um, sort of. A horror? You could say that. Mystery? Like a who-dun-it kind of thing. So what is TEETH? It's all of them and none of them. My overlying thought throughout the film was that it was a pretty looking, bad B-movie, with one of thee best plots ever. But, I thought that through as the film went on I just couldn't decide. Well, I did enjoy it...as much as I could. A big problem I had was that the director Mitchell Lichtenstein and producers just weren't setting the right tone. I definitely wanted it to be a dark comedy but it wasn't hitting the right switches. Had the complete music queues of a unintentionally comical horror film but that was just annoying and pretentious. Oh, and the nuclear power plant. Come on! They wanted us to believe that this condition was the result of some sort of mutation caused by the radiation from the plant behind the family's home. But they kept beating us over the head. Every other scene had Dawn riding her bike around town with the power plant in the background, puffing out clouds of chemical exhaust. I cringed.
Direction. Ugh. Lichtenstein had a great vision, really, I believe that, but it was missing a rawness that seemed to be replaced by unsure acting. I'm not going to blame the acting, I'm blaming the direction. In scenes, he was just giving his characters too much to do at a given time. Some scenes played out beautifully though. The opening scene of Dawn's teenage character in which she's given a monologue to youngsters. There's the first penis chewing scene with Tobey in the cave. Also, the scenes at the gynecologist and with the other moron Ryan who made a bet with his friend to sleep with Dawn.
Definitely acting wise, I really disliked several scenes. They were just too overly...obvious. Several scenes with Dawn and Tobey, the awkwardness was really getting to me. Again, this is where tone would have made certain situations understandable. It just wasn't feel enough like a dark comedy for those scenes to work for me. Hale Appleman (Tobey), I couldn't wait for his character to be killed off. Just, irritating. Now John Hensley who plays Dawn's step brother Brad, he does it the way it should have been for everyone. Every scene with him was well delivered, well acted. Jess Weixler. I really am liking her even though I wasn't too fond off her acting in TEETH, but again, I'm blaming the directing. Several of her scenes were just great, but counter those with other scenes that were crap and it makes for something that should've been better, bigger. I think she possesses a genuine beauty that countered well to the situations she was being put into. I will be looking forward to future efforts. It seems stupid, but I want to see her in a good romantic comedy with, let's say, Eric Christain Olsen, or even Jim Krasinski. Anyone else? No? Whatever!
End the end though, I am very glad that a film like this was done by an independent director and studio. Who knows what kind of crap would have been manufactured had this been done by the people who brought us the remake of PROM NIGHT?
I did enjoy it and would recommend it for the horror factor and sheer quirkiness of some of it. And did I mention how cute Jess Weixler is?
Give TEETH a stern renting.
I give it a solid 6.87 out of 10.

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BURN AFTER READING/watching the new red band trailer

Whoohee !! So, red band is the frakin' word of the summer, I'm tellin' ya. We've gotten HAPPENING red bands, TROPIC THUNDER, PINEAPPLE EXPRESS, more recently STEP BROTHERS and now BURN AFTER READING. Give me a DARK KNIGHT red band and I'm diced, grilled, and ready to serve.
BURN AFTER READING is the much anticipated Coen brothers' follow up to the much lauded NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN. I'm excited and you should be too because, well, before this trailer came out, only simple plot details and casting were released and those alone made me piss a little in my pants. George Clooney, Frances McDormand, Brad Pitt, Richard Jenkins, John Malkovich and Tilda "Astoundingly Gorgeous" Swinton !! It's Coen brothers. It's comedy. It's gold, like another Oscar, gold.
Quickly before the trailer. BURN follows two dim-headed gym employees (Pitt & McDormand) who happen across a disk containing the memoirs of an ex CIA agent. They then proceed to blackmail the agent (Malkovich), but when that proves unsuccessful, they try to sell it to the next highest bidder whether it be Russians or even other agents. The burning begins September 12th.

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The Bat and Joker: Easy Riders

So, Spanish site Omelete just recently receieved two exclusive banners for THE DARK KNIGHT. They look cool. Well, it's nothing different, just more of the same (the same awesome).
And also if you're interested in seeing Batman with a milk mustache, head over to the special Got Milk? site featuring none other than the Dark Knight and neat photos, wallpapers, and icons. Click below to see The Bat himself sport a stripe of pasty white solution over his upper lip.

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Uwe Boll doesn't bollsh*t around, well kinda, but only for marketing

Do you have a problem with Uwe Boll? if yes, why? I have only seen three of Boll's film: HOUSE OF THE DEAD, ALONE IN THE DARK, and BLOODRAYNE. I have very specific issues with his filmmaking that just rub me the wrong way. It's the direction that feels weird. It's the camera work that feels uncreative. It's the editing that seems off and choppy. But I do believe that everyone and anyone that has the will to make film should be able to and be given the power to. I am interested in seeing Boll's latest film, POSTAL based off of an equally interesting videogame series and has just hit theaters last week.
Well, there has been a very large backlash against Boll and his film in the recent weeks and months even to the point of a online petition asking for a million signatures to stop Boll for every making another film. What a bunch of crap! How can a community based of creativity and will be so against someone wanting to make films. There are many people that enjoy his movies and that are not critical of them as many of us cinephiles are. Well, LoadingReadyRun.com has just recently had an interview with Mr. Boll about recent events, his projects, online idiots, and the process of filmmaking in general. I appreciate his contribution to the film industry even if I don't enjoy his films. Make up your own mind.

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STEP BROTHERS is now red band !!

Yes sir/ma'am, we've got it, the red band trailer for STEP BROTHERS, and it's gonna f*** your s*** up !! Enjoy.

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CHOKE trailer induces coma--got ya ! Didn't see that one comin' did ya?

Not sure if you remember but a while back I presented you all with a Sundance Channel exclusive clip behind the scenes of the upcoming film adaptation of Chuck Palahniuk's CHOKE, but I did. Now, little ol' CHOKE has itself a purdy little trailer, and it is quite purdy indeed. Check it out for yourself below. CHOKE is written and directed for the screen by Clark Gregg aka the SHIELD agent from IRON MAN that kept harassing Pepper Potts for a sit-down with Tony Stark about his escape from the terrorists. Ya, that guy, he's great.

It really is a fun trailer but I wish it was marketed a little differently and not play on the whole "he's unconsiously trying to change his ways" deal. Also I guess, even though they showed choking scenes, it wasn't played up at all. We'll have to wait for the film.

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